Don't be fooled by that last post. I'm not just on a constant rant off all the time, I'm actually pretty chill. And also, I never meant for this to be a diary, I was thinking more like a thinking notepad. Like this:
I am happy. I do feel good here at college. It's a different kind of feel good, tho, then back home. I'm meeting alot of new people and I'm doing what I want, two things I couldn't have fully had if I was in high school- two things I really came here for.
I have almost given up the doctor/premed/surgeon dream. I realize I probably only want that for the money and that I wouldn't really love it. I do, however, love to learn. Lots. I'm thinking maybe changing my major to Anthropology: the study of humans. Then I could learn about everything (philosophy, culture, history, biological evolution, knowledge, economics, language, hell what is there to learn about that DOESN'T have to do with humans?)
I know I gave up on the engineering dream almost five minutes into orientation, and giving up the doctor dream will be really tough; especially knowing that it'd be great for future career and salary opportunities and that almost everyone I left (especially from Lewis Central faculty/class of '08) but I almost don't even care. I want to leave that dream behind because I know its not what I actually want. I focus less and less on my future career, and have almost stopped caring what my hometown thinks of me (which I used to really zone in on, and gained alot of happiness from). This is a change, not a forfeit. A positive change; for me, it means looking at my life differently- which, in turn, directly changes what makes me happy. Luckily, whatever that is, it's still working, even after changing.
